Marriage, once a milestone eagerly reached in the early twenties, is now being postponed as individuals prioritise careers, personal growth, and independence. In modern times, love and commitment are no longer bound by age but by readiness. Across the globe, the traditional timeline for tying the knot is shifting, and South Africa is no exception.
According to the latest Marriages and Divorces, 2023 report released by Statistics South Africa, in 2014 the median age for grooms engaging in civil marriages was 35, while brides typically married at 31. Fast forward to 2023, and those figures have climbed to 38 and 34, respectively.

Marriage on the Decline: Fewer Couples Saying ‘I Do’ in South Africa

Marriage, once considered a natural step in adulthood, is becoming less common in South Africa. In 2023, a total of 105 123 marriages and unions were recorded. This included 99 289 civil marriages, 3 537 customary marriages, and 2 297 civil unions. Over the past decade, the number of registered civil marriages has dropped significantly, declining from 150 852 in 2014 to just 99 289 in 2023—a notable decrease of 34,2% (51 563 marriages).

As marriage rates decline, the age at which people choose to wed is also changing. In 2014, most grooms were aged between 30 and 34, while brides were commonly in the 25–29 age range. By 2023, women were waiting longer to marry, with the most common age bracket shifting to 30–34 years.
The age gap between spouses remains a defining feature of South African marriages. The number of registered customary marriages was 3 537 in 2023, which decreased by 19,2% from a total of 4 376 recorded in 2022. Most bridegrooms [3 079 (87,1%)] were older than their brides, with the gap in median ages at registration of customary marriage much wider than for other types of marriages. When looking at Civil Marriages, in 2023, most grooms—75,2% (74 703)—were older than their brides, while 16,1% (16 013) married older women, and only 8,6% (8 573) married someone the same age.

Most unions continue to be first-time marriages. In 2023, 80,3% of grooms and 85,2% of brides were marrying for the first time. However, remarriage trends reveal gendered differences—4,3% of divorced men remarried compared to 2,8% of divorced women. Widowers were also more likely to remarry (0,5%) than widows (0,4%), suggesting that men are more inclined to enter a second marriage.

One thing is clear—South Africans are redefining what partnership and commitment mean in modern society.

Divorce on the Rise as Marriage Attitudes Shift

As societal attitudes toward marriage evolve, divorce rates are following suit, reflecting a broader acceptance of ending marital unions. According to Stats SA, 22 230 divorces were finalised in 2023—a notable 10,1% rise from the 20 196 cases recorded in 2022.
The data shows that a significant portion of divorces occur within the first decade of marriage. In 2023, 42,0% (9 326) of divorces involved couples whose unions lasted less than ten years. The median ages of those seeking divorce were 46 years for men and 42 years for women. The trend of rising divorce rates is not new, but 2023 saw one of the highest increases in recent years. Examining the figures from 2014 to 2023 reveals fluctuations in the number of divorces granted, reflecting shifting societal norms and economic factors that influence marriage stability.

Divorce does not impact all age groups equally. In 2023, the most affected demographic was individuals between 40 and 44 years old, with 4 226 husbands and 4 495 wives ending their marriages. Interestingly, younger women (below 45 years) were more likely to seek divorce than men in the same age range. However, the trend reverses among older age groups, with more men divorcing after 45. Most divorces in 2023 involved individuals dissolving their first marriage. Among male divorcees, 86,7% were in their first marriage, while among female divorcees, the figure was slightly higher at 87,2%.

Additionally, a significant number of these divorces affected children under 18 years old. Of the 11 174 first-time male divorcees, more than half had children involved, while among female divorcees, 11 272 children were impacted. In total, 12 248 divorce cases in 2023 (55,1%) involved children under 18, affecting 20 687 minors overall. The presence of children in divorce proceedings highlights the broader impact of marital dissolution. While 44,9% of divorces in 2023 did not involve children, the fact that over 20 000 minors were affected raises important considerations about family dynamics, custody arrangements, and emotional well-being.

The rising divorce rate may suggest that South Africans are increasingly open to leaving unhappy marriages rather than staying due to social pressures. With fewer people tying the knot and others delaying their vows, South Africa’s approach to marriage is evolving, challenging the notion that youth is the prime time for lifelong partnerships.

For more information, download the Marriages and Divorces, 2023 report here.